According to renowned mindfulness expert and meditation expert, Tara Brach, humans as a species are wired to view the world through a negative bias. At one point this functioned as a safety mechanism—those red berries made Grog sick—and helped keep us alive. Yet, we don't live in a world where we are running away from saber toothed tigers anymore.
We have learned to hijack this response (usually subconsciously or unconsciously) to still create the same stress response within our lives. This can often come in the form of judgement around ourselves and others. One common form of this is holding ourselves to a high standard of what we ought to be doing and then spending significant portions of our day "should-ing" all over ourselves. This creates a vicious cycle of pressure on ourselves which either creates a stress response to achieve, or a guilt and shame response when we don't. The vicious cycle continues and hijacks our nervous system until feeling stressed out is common and a response akin to addiction begins to shift feeling stressed into feeling normal.
The first step to this is awareness that it's happening to create mindfulness around the event. It's in the space of mindfulness that changes can be made. For more on this, you can visit my blog post or alternatively, listen to one of Tara Brach's many meditations on the topic or search any podcast platform for her podcast with weekly guided meditations.
Once you recognize you're in this trance (chances are you're human which significantly increases the likelihood that you're in this pattern to some extent), it's about finding an exercise that resonates with you.
Here's a new suggestion: Accomplishment Journal Prompt.
You've likely heard of a gratitude journal or a progress tracker. With the gratitude journal, it brings awareness to things that you appreciate in life, which shifts the scope out of negative perceptions and invites feelings of gratitude. I've also said it's really challenging to focus on things your grateful and to also feel disappointed at the same time. Progress trackers can help feelings of accomplishment for tasks and there's an innate reward system in it. It can also feel overwhelming and invite guilt when things get tasked but are not accomplished.
The Accomplishment Journal Entry invites the positivity with both practices and the practice is simple in concept, but may be difficult in practice at the beginning.
Notes Before Beginning the Accomplishment Journal Prompt.
Delete Should
Remove the idea of should and could from this practice. It's about focusing on what you were able to do as an act of gratitude and recognition. Plans change, unexpected things happen. Invite in the feelings of grace and factuality here.
All Is Welcome
It's easy to play down accomplishments as being insignificant, mundane, or not enough. Conceptualize this practice as a piggy bank. Every cent counts.
Start with Today
If you're doing this practice for the first time, a fun way to do this is to start with today, or even the last hour and then back out. Write as much as you can think of for your present day, then back out to the last week, the last 30 days, even the last year. It's fun to put things in perspective.
Awareness
Practice noticing how you feel about yourself before beginning. Maybe rate it on a scale of 1-10. Once you're done with the exercise, return to checking in with how you feel. Make note of what changed, what expending or contracted, and what felt the same.
Sample of the Practice
August 8, 2024
• I got out of bed to workout (9th day in a row for over 30 minutes).
• I climbed 3 V3s I've never climbed before.
• I was 2 moves from completing my first V4* in months.
• I finalized my new coaching logo.
• I got to talk to my best friend.
• I caught up with work.
• I wrote a blog post.
• I avoided eating meat for two meals.
• I made it to work on time.
• I checked in with my emotions when I felt the stirrings of discomfort and didn't repress nor respond negatively.
• I brought up a difficult conversation to my boss about traveling for over a week to Ireland at the end of September.
Last 7 days
• I've rested my thumb while still being active.
• I made an effort to celebrate my dad's birthday.
• I was cheerful in helping around the house, cooking dinner, and reintegrating our house from the summer.
• I was able to provide generously to my daughter at her new job.
• I kept in touch with my mom.
• I asked for something I wanted with Kristy.
• I listened better in therapy and said less.
• I've made a conscious effort to grow my coaching business in different ways.
• I've started reading 100 Years of Solitude.
• I played the guitar twice.
• I went out for ecstatic dance and runs and listened to my body on the current limits.
• I made important people in my life a priority.
• I've significantly cut down on eating meat.
• Helped a friend with his website and surprised him with company stickers.
Last Month
• Much more mindful about what I'm doing to my body.
• Set up my Bullet Journal for my 44th Lap around the sun.
• Revamped my website design.
• Focused my attention on my career aspirations.
• Concentrated all my July efforts on having the best time with my wife in our "Staycation."
• Was super intentional about spending time with the people who nourish my life.
• Navigated some tricky conversations with Kristy with more grace, patience, and listening.
Last Year (Much More of this already dedicated to a recent blog post)
• Grew so much as a musician and artist.
• Really focused in on my tribe and my relationship with those closest to me.
• Learned a lot about grace.
• Expanded a division at work all on my own.
• Really expanded my patience and capacity for things and working through harder emotions with better grace and tact.
• Accepted permission to no longer people please or outsource my worth.
• Carved a walking stick.
Repeat the Accomplishment Journal Prompt every day for a week and gauge it's impact.
I offer free 30 minute discovery calls for my coaching practice. Please refer to my contact page for more information or to schedule a time.
Comments