On a recent hike, I reflected on the fact that pine trees seem to drop hundreds of pine cones with the small chance that one hits the right conditions, takes root, and begins new life. These pine trees don’t judge the chances, they just keep producing and letting the seeds fall in an offering of love and abundance.
Six months ago to the day, I met a pine tree in human form. He’d been dropping his offering of a Men’s Circle for months before that, and when his Utah Men’s Circle offering hit social media and Hillary Stark shared it, the seed took to the ground in my landscape.
In February, a magnet drew me up Big Cottonwood Canyon for my first Utah Men’s Circle. There was an unexpected feeling of anticipation and calm knowing, which was unusual for me at the time. Meeting Joe Speredon for the first time reminded me of when the hobbits meet the Ents in Lord of the Rings. There was a kingly and fatherly energy around this man as his size commands respect, yet his warmth and bear energy is the expression that lingers.
I don’t believe in fate, and I also don’t believe in accidents. Meeting Joe was an alignment somewhere between those two poles.
Like many (dare I project, most) men, I carried resentment for masculine energy. I felt betrayed by men and was turned off by their arrogance, their greed, their willingness to hurt for self-benefit. Joe is not the first person to help me see beyond that story, but he’s been the most instrumental in ripping up that fucking novel.
I met Joe at one of the lowest points in my life. Ending my relationship with a partner that I loved and cherished dearly had me spiraling in patterns of self-loathing, guilt, shame, and the inability to move through my emotions. It felt like an overpowering whirlpool in the middle of the river that sucked me back in every time I seemed to feel I was on the brink of release.
As I’ve moved through that, I’ve come to realize I was the one sucking myself back into that space. To get from where I was to where I was going at was not an easy task or for the weak hearted. I bore the brunt of the work, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Joe, however, has been walking alongside me every step of my way, throwing me encouragement and the occasional life saver (not the candy version) when I’ve needed it.
Joe started with recommending some key books in my transition. Iron John; King Warrior Magician, Lover; and No More Mr. Nice Guy have been instrumental in me understanding the difference between healthy masculinity and the way I’d witnessed the majority of men show up in the world. Joe helped me attend a Sacred Sons event in Kamas, Utah, which not only helped me gather and sharpen the tools I’d been developing my whole life, but it helped put me in touch with a band of brothers that have continued to accompany me on this journey. Joe invited me to be part of the leadership of the Utah Men’s Circle. The honor of that still leaves me stunned at times and I find it hard to put the gratitude and humility I feel there. Even today Joe has started a weekly Algiz Guard coaching call where like-minded brothers gather at noon on a Wednesday over Zoom and discuss tenets and masculine archetypes. This weekly recharge sustains me with commanded attention at my priorities and streamlines growth and awareness.
Joe’s most important contribution, however, lies outside of these things. His consistent friendship is King. Joe is intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, and grounded. When a person like that shows up consistently to help talk through difficult moments, give critical insight, and can hold space when a person just needs to vent, the recipient is able to accelerate growth beyond comprehension. In short, every man looking to heal needs a Joe in his life. A man that will inspire, encourage, challenge, hold space, and be willing to be vulnerable and honest in their own right.
Joe is a King Maker. His vision and dedication to creating a safe space for men to shed the pieces of them that don’t serve, and shine in the parts that do is nothing short of a Godsend. His work is transforming men’s lives in Utah. It brings me to tears to acknowledge how important this work has been to me. Being around him has centered the King in me, has awakened the Warrior, alchemized the Magician, and softened the Lover. Men need healthy men. Women need healthy men. The world needs healthy men. Joe leads this charge. I love him. I love you, Joe. I won’t ever be able to repay you, but that doesn’t mean I will stop trying.
For more information about the Utah Men’s Circle, visit our page on Instagram https://instagram.com/utahmenscircle?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
For more information about Joe’s Algiz Guard, visit his Instagram page https://instagram.com/joesperedon?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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