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Certified Life Coach since 2021
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English Teacher (2010 - 2022)
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Newspaper Editor (2007 - 2009)
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United States Marine (1999 - 2004)
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Life Partnered with wife, Kristy, since 2018 (married, Dec. 2024)
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Father to 4 children.
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Left Mormon Church in 2009.
This is one of the most frequently asked questions, and there's a bit of a story involved.I used to be a Literature teacher, and The Count of Monte Cristo and Fahrenheit 451 were both books on our advanced class reading list. Both of these books have overtones of suicidal ideations. Rather than gloss this uncomfortable topic with teenagers, I made it known that I, too, had experienced some of this as a teenager. If anyone was struggling with this, I would understand and be willing to be an advocate.
One year, a student took me up on this offer. She and her friend came into my classroom during lunch, and I listened. Wanting to take both the trust she had given me, and the responsibility seriously, I asked her if she'd be willing to let me reach out to her parents and help bridge the gap. She eventually agreed, and I proceeded to have a series of after school discussions with her parents. These eventually involved the student and the entire situation resolved itself rather quickly. At the end of that year the student told me how much that moment meant and saved her in some very real ways.
It was then that I knew that my true calling was the ability to help people on an individual basis.
Parallel to that experience, I was in the midst of a divorce and huge life transition myself. I was feeling really lost and decided to join a men's group to develop some skills I could sense I was desperately lacking. I met my eventual mentor K.C. who would suggest a book that took me over 18 months to start reading. When I finished, I reached out and told him how much it meant to me. After a brief check-in, it was clear I was aligning with a different professional path as my true calling. He asked if I'd ever given a thought to pursue coaching. With my eye on becoming a therapist, I had no idea this was even a possibility, after a follow-up conversation, I thought this nuanced path was right in line with my personality and the type of client relationships I was seeking. A year, over 30 books, and more than 500 practical hours later, I began seeing clients regularly.
Though I had served 5 years in the Marines, I still had a tough time calling myself a "man" until I was about 27. Part of this was my intense disappointment with the stereotypes of "manhood" I experienced growing up, in witnessing boys pretending to be men in high school, and then watching 20-somethings try to tell me what manhood meant while barely seeming to function as a human in the military.
My relationship to masculinity begin in sincere earnest in my early 30s, and only after I left the Mormon church forever and began the journey to myself.
The most intense beginning to this shift was discovering yoga and getting the experience of my entire self (mind, body, and soul) in a singular unifying practice. This also opened up doors to men with beliefs and practices that I was interested in emulating. I would describe them as creative, intentional, empathetic, keenly aware, and purpose-driven.
My coaching certification was a treasure chest of tools and experiences that tripled the square footage of the foundation of my life experience.
Solo trips to Peru, and extended solo-time spent in Guatemala provided tools. Drum circles, ecstatic dancing, rock climbing, and other intentional spaces put me in contact with more men, more experiences, and provided more tools. Being invited to co-create the Utah Men's Circle, and working as a facilitator to that free space for over 2 years continued to provide tools and a place to practice them.
For me, books like Iron John; King, Warrior, Magician, Lover; Never Finished; and The Way of the Superior Man also helped.
The single biggest transformational experience was the low-key and persistent experience of witnessing authentic men continue to be transparent and flawed, yet dedicated to the process of showing up. This let me know I wasn't alone and uniquely suffering. This released me from the lonely isolation and allowed me to continue exploring what it meant to be me. This is one of the great tragedies of our generation, and one that every human being deserves to experience. The pressure-free space to be exactly who they feel like being. To embrace that self, and allow the unadulterated joy of that experience to flow through them.
If this is an experience you'd like to have, and you think there's a chance that working together could provide that, I enthusiastically invite you to begin that process.
Tony's style of coaching is so compassionate and empowering that his words stay with me, helping me to face my daily challenges with a new level of confidence and self-compassion.
A. LaVoie, Mex.
CEO • Business Coach
A patient and witty coach, Tony has brought much laughter, many 'aha' moments, and plenty of healing tears to our sessions: all of which I deeply appreciate.
M. Tanner, MA
Non-Profit Co-Founder
Every conversation we have had is authentic, sincere, and full of absolute love and care. He is the life coach I never knew I needed.
J. Wallace, UT
Foreman, Consultant
You will not find a warmer, more caring, and less judgmental soul than Tony. It takes zero time to feel like you're in the presence of a lifelong friend who wants nothing more than to help you.
P. Powers, UT
Licensed Family Therapist
Tony has a great energy, a willingness to share and he pays attention to the details. All great things for anyone on a self-discovery journey.
S. Stafford, UT
Healer, Compliance Manager
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